February 2012
Feb 4th
15 notes
Feb 4th
273 notes
Josh: So, have you all bought Sinners Never Sleep!?
Audience: We downloaded it!
Police officer: So someone threw a grenade into the audience?
Feb 4th
Feb 4th
8,781 notes
January 2012
when i listen to that girl on my ipod i give a death stare to a random girl and pretend im in a music video
Jan 14th
1 note
the-vashta-nerada: hey bro bro broski brosicle broseidon, god of the brocean brotato chip brotein shake brosef stalin barack brobama teddy brosevelt don quibrote adrien brody gallilebro gallilei napoleon bronaparte brobo cop leonardo dicapribro broseph mengele  bro nye the science guy selena bromez broey deschanel  bro dimaggio wolfgang amadaeus brozart brohemian rhapsody ...
Jan 7th
10,255 notes
Jan 7th
26,268 notes
Jan 7th
2,585 notes
Jan 2nd
1,724 notes
Jan 2nd
1,448 notes
Jan 2nd
116,185 notes
Jan 2nd
236 notes
Jan 2nd
151 notes
Jan 2nd
161 notes
Jan 2nd
230 notes
2 tags
Jan 2nd
31 notes
Jan 2nd
62 notes
Jan 2nd
22,344 notes
Jan 2nd
158 notes
Jan 2nd
636 notes
Jan 2nd
79 notes
Jan 1st
3,550 notes
Jan 1st
786 notes
Jan 1st
1 tag
Jan 1st
2,845 notes
Jan 1st
Jan 1st
1,110 notes
hyliam: eradicates: new topic valentines day is next  oh dear fucking god i really am gonna kill myself
Jan 1st
596 notes
Jan 1st
165 notes
Jan 1st
4,922 notes
December 2011
Band member: Hi, nice to meet you!
Me: I can't believe I'm actually talking to you, and breathing the same air! Oh my gosh, I'll never wash these lungs again. sldkjfhglkjdf
Band member: *laughs*
Me: *laughs*
Band member: So do you want me to sign something?
Me: Let's make beautiful babies.
Band member: What?
Me: What?
Band member:
Me:
Band member:
Me:
Band member:
Me: I asked if you could sign my.... poster.
Band member: I could have sworn you just said -
Me: Poster.
Band member: But -
Me: Poster.
Dec 30th
33,132 notes
Dec 30th
238 notes
friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
me: do you think so
me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
friend: what
me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they
Dec 30th
49,523 notes
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
769 notes
Dec 30th
78 notes
Listenjalexbarakarth: kellinquinnsbutt: eNTER ME
Dec 29th
307 notes
1 tag
Dec 29th
2,428 notes
Dec 29th
211 notes
Dec 29th
6,571 notes
Dec 27th
897 notes
Dec 27th
1,749 notes
Dec 27th
171 notes
Dec 27th
217 notes
Dec 27th
986 notes
Dec 27th
123,965 notes
Dec 27th
5,221 notes
Dec 27th
5,726 notes
Dec 27th
76 notes
1 tag
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me: whoops
Dec 27th
109,590 notes